Is "my way" getting in the way?
This week while filing my nails, my son Theo came up to me, curious about what I was doing. I asked him if he wanted me to try it on his nails. Fully expecting him to scream “No!” and run off, I was very surprised when he held out a finger for me to try it on. A little side note here – Theo HATES having his nails clipped. I dread the days when I have to endure the tantrum as I cut his nails. You’d think after a couple of nails he’d realize it doesn’t hurt, and relax – nope – its a fight until the end. So, as he held out his nail for me to file, I got a little excited. I took his hand (and relatively long nails) into my hand, and slowly started filing. It must have been something about the friction, a sensation most people hate, but he loved it. It was quite the opposite experience of cutting his nails. As I filed his nails, slowly but surely, one by one, I began processing all of this. Where else in my life have I been determined to do things a certain way, even if it’s incredibly difficult and relatively unsuccessful, but I’m convinced it’s the only or ‘the best way’ to do something?
One of the concepts I love teaching is the idea that we create patterns of thought just like we create patters of behavior. We get so comfortable within these patterns that they become all we know and we tend to reject anything else. Until one day the blinders come off – we experience something outside of our patterns, and we realize that ‘my way’ is not ‘the only way,’ and in fact, there might be ‘a better way.’ Sometimes admitting this to ourselves feels like a hit to the ego – for the past five years I’ve been trying to cut my son’s nails. #momfail But if we’re willing to get over our shortsightedness, a world of possibilities opens up to us. If we can be wiling to see ‘my way’ as simply one of many options, we create space for improvement. This week I encourage you to notice your own patterns – where have you limited your options for ways of doing things? When someone suggests a new approach to you, notice if you immediately reject it because, 'that's not how you do things?'. If so, maybe take a moment to realize this, remember these words, and open up to a new perspective. Maybe this new approach might be the solution you never knew you needed. Wishing you a wonderful week!
With love and gratitude, Robin