This is a little embarrassing, but here goes...
Last week I received an email informing me that I had been denied an opportunity that I was very excited about. It was a teaching position at a prominent gathering, and getting the denial letter felt like a kick in the stomach.
Apparently, I had put a lot of stock in getting this position – I felt that it would validate who I am, my work, and my life’s path. In turn, getting denied made me question all of it.
The few people I turned to wanted to help me find a positive spin, but I wasn’t ready for that. So often we want to find the silver lining without acknowledging the clouds, but they have a purpose too. They bring the cleansing rain.
I let myself sit with the discomfort of pain, disappointment, embarrassment, and feeling unworthy. I let myself think the thoughts that made me cry. I let myself cry.
I have heard many people tell me they don’t want to cry - but crying is a cleansing of the heart. It allows so many old stories and traumas to wash up to the surface, and out.
It’s not a pretty sight when a storm is raging, but after the tears have dried, and the sun comes out, a rainbow of hope appears, and we can start to see a lot more clearly. This is the art of resiliency.
Resiliency is not denial – it’s not ignoring what has happened to you, shoving it under the carpet, resisting the tears, and moving on. Resiliency is facing the situation, feeling it, letting it knock you down, and then when the tears are dry, getting back up with a clear heart and a clear perspective.
Resiliency is bending and not breaking. Resiliency is getting knocked down and being okay, because you know you’ll never stay down.
A couple days later, I was ready to bounce back. I prayed for guidance, and gained so much clarity around my readiness, the content I was planning to share, and how I’ll present it all so much better next year.
In the end, I’m beginning to feel gratitude for this experience. When we climb up the emotional scale from grief to gratitude, we gain so much strength along the way. Finally, from the viewpoint of gratitude, we can see with clarity and appreciation all the silver linings in the sky.
Wishing you a wonderful week. With love and gratitude, Robin